CHAPTER #7 - THE PINK AIRBRUSHED BEIBER SWEATSHIRT & THE VOID
Leon awoke to find himself laying on the floor in the kitchen with an airbrushed Justin Bieber sweatshirt and a wig that was similar to Lil Wayne but dyed to resemble a cheetah pattern and flip flops. there was muffled conversation stemming from the living room where Commander Cody, Myrtle the Turtle and Merlin hovered and spoke in serious debate. As Leon lifted his limp, Hennessy and chicken filled body from the depths of the pod’s floor his vision slowly took hold and noticed an empty living room. Leon’s mind then assured him reality had set in and he was not in what appeared to be a living nightmare. To further add more complication to the living room mystery lie in front of them all staring back from the floor. A black void or hole lay in the middle of the living room and had appeared to swallow all of the possessions from the living room including the prized gold box set of The Adventure of Robo-Cock. The void had not however swallowed up much of the pornographic gay wrapping paper that lay scattered throughout the house and stuck to Commander Cody’s leg. Leon had not joined his guest in staring into the void aimlessly searching for love in all the wrong places. He then took a half empty bottle of XO from the hands of Cody whom had been sipping it with his first morning breath and dropped it into the void.
Cody remained expressionless and unfazed. Cody then with a swift motion of his foot gently kicked Myrtle the Turtle in the void. A sparkling shell slowly diminished into the blackness without the hint of a sound or bother. This had not been well received by Leon. Merlin had apparently went into some type of electric shock or trauma from the morning’s occurences and fell into Leon in a heaping, un athletic clunk. Leon had multiple thoughts firing through his average developed brain - one. “What the fuck is this abyss in my living room that has just swallowed my turtle?” two. Shall I push Cody also into the void? Three. What the hell just slammed into my shin?
“This apparently is a tear in the fabric of the universe, could be a black hole or used for time travel.” noted Commander Cody.
“That’s amazing.” replied Leon facetiously.
“We need to get my crystal covered turtle, so pack some sandwiches and Henessey. Recharge Merlin and help me find my fucking pants.” Leon ordered in the direction of Cody.
“Give me back my Bieber sweatshirt then!” Cody fired back.
The void was swirling with a cold silence and rymthic hum like an Enigma video on MTV2. Next to it were two unidentifiable gifts wrapped in what appeared to be normal gift wrap of miniature horses dressed in wedding outfits. The presents were address to each Cody and Leon from Santa.
Both Leon and Cody had noticed these at the same time and slowly made their way towards the last of the morning’s surprises. As time permitted the two sat down in adjacent corners of the room opposite the black void which was now a fixture in the living room. As they unwrapped their gifts they exchanged glances with curiosity to one another and then they both paused and looked into the glowing boxes. A light emminated from each of the unwrapped boxes illuminating the features of their confused faces. “What did you get?” inquired Leon. “I don’t know, hold on, don’t look ‘til i say, aight? Close your eyes fool.” Leon said.
Cody closed his eyes also still confused about his gift from Santa. “Lets both turn around and show at the same time.”
They both turned away and began to remove their articles of the previous night’s ventures and change into…well, their gifts?
“I am not doing this, I don’t know? Is this right? No.no.no. What did you get?” Leon confusingly mutter to Cody who had his back turned and slowly turned to reveal his gift.
As Cody turned, Leon was expressionless and as white as Michael Jackson. Cody was in fact somehow transformed into Jay-Z. “These are antique halloween Holo-suits! I’m HOVA, you know Jay-Z!” exclaimed Cody jumping erratically as he slapped Leon to wake from his fainted spell. “Who?” questioned Leon.
“Never mind what did you get?” asked Cody.
Leon turned and fell from his dizziness and emerged four minutes later as what appear to be Kanye West.
“All black everything!” Commander Cody shouted to Leon.
Leon had not been entertained with the suits but continued to wear it in comparison with his previous holiday outfit.
“Whatever, here is your sweatshirt back, now let’s go get Myrtle.” Leon threw the sweatshirt to Cody who proceeded to fit it on a deactivated MERLIN cleaning unit.
Leon had packed the Henessey and sandwiches himself from the pod’s kitchen unit into a fake Gucci suitcase which he purchased in the Black Market China Town Sector. “What should we do now, how should we go about this do you have any rope?” asked Leon.
“You mean what would HOVA do?…I don’t know what does it look like down there?” replied Cody.
“It’s just black on black on black. All black everything.” Answered Leon as he looked into the black void.
“What’s that jacket, Margeila!?” fired Leon.
“what is happening to me, I didn’t mean to say that these suits are taking control of us somehow, I don’t even know what that means?!” assessed Leon to Cody.
“Its provocative, it gets the people going.” Answered Cody.
At that moment MERLIN had reactivated and began to survey the situation which appeared to him as foreign.
In a commanding, security robot voice and a pink Justin Bieber sweatshirt MERLIN shouted nervously “Who are fuck are you two dumb shits in all black, did you come out of that hole in the floor and where are Leon and Cody?”
Leon spoke “Merlin, its us! Leon and Cody we are in holo suits from Santa dressed as JC and Connie Wess!”
“Its Jay-Z and Kanye West, Yeezy!” Cody corrected.
“Who is Yeezy?” asked Merlin.
“Get in the hole Merlin!” Cody yelled as he tipped The cleaning unit into the black void in the floor.
The airbrushed Bieber portrait faded into the darkness giving no comfort to the Halloween masked duo. Holding hands Kanye West and Jay-Z took a leap of faith into the darkness as they plummeted into unknown depths they faintly heard the sounds of Space Ghetto echoing in eternity.
CHAPTER #6 - ATTENTION ALL HEAVY BREATHING FUN SEEKERS….
Upon entering Kipper’s Sporno Emporium the entrance doors seemed to make a series of female erotic moans alerting the specialized attendant on duty that there was a hopeless romantic now on the premises. The emporium was saturated with colors that were begging for just a second to show you what unadulterated pleasures they were offering. Rocket pack fetish Kits, Cyber Lust Memory hacks, The entire limited edition gold box Christmas set of “The Adventures of RoboCock” and his faithful gun tastefully named “Blaster.” Leon had stopped dead in his tracks, mesmerized of the possibility of the Limited Edition Gold Set hovering above his viewing portal in his pod. As he was deep in thought of how to transport this tasteless sex adventure in 195 Holo-discs home, He felt a small, jabbing poke against his back. Leon had run through a many list of countless items and situations in this environment and failed to reach a conclusion only to turn and find the owner himself, Kippy, at the other end of a very long stick with a swirling, transparent blue dolphin Dildo attached to the end of the stick which he had been prodding Leon with.
“Lookin for something special, blood?” Exclaimed Kippy.
Kippy was a short dwarf-like figure with a deactivated gerry curl similar to what be accepted 20 years ago amongst pin stripe, gold girl slanging streetwalkers. He had a diamond grill with the letters “FWYH” along the top row of his teeth, encrusted in diamonds. Leon, as well as no one else but a dirty handful in the ghetto, knew this stood for “Fuck What You Heard.”
“I was looking to return these Holo-Discs and the price of that limited edition gold box Christmas set of “The Adventures of RoboCock” Leon replied.
Kippy in a low voice was chanting “Per—-vert, per—-vert, per—-vert…” softly which began to get louder while staring right at Leon who was in a state of shock and amazement. “Gimme those late ass tapes, you know what we do with the pancake that brings tapes up n hur late?” Kippy posed a question to Leon, which Leon dread the answer too.
“We do dis.” Kippy stated calmly and jostled to grab a large microphone that was connected to the megastore’s intercom system and stated the following news into it “Attention Heavy Breathing Fun Seekers, we have some late arrivals in the store today from our Triple Platinum member Leon Redfield…” As Leon then looked up he noticed on every single viewing screen was his membership card for everyone to see, including the private viewing booths and the hover thru Lap Dance lane. At this point everyone in the store had their fantasies and desires shattered into a million small pieces by this timely, little announcement. “Leon has finally brought back the following titles “Ricky’s Rocket Galaxy Casting Cruise 56, Shuttle Buns, E3 - The extra Testicle, Deep Space Ass-tro Lovers 14 - Dangerous Behinds and SpaceWhores” Kippy exclaimed with such imagination and authorship into the microphone.
The crowd snickered to themselves, however were aware that they too were all in this so-called boat together and as much as they loved the humiliated on display they could easily image themselves in that very position carefully going through their short mental checklist to highlight brightly the timely return of the tapes in their sweaty palms.
“And Dat bitch will run ya 150 of the bees and honey, nigga.” whispered Kippy to Leon after his show-stopping Pervert Proclamation. Rubbing the dolphin on Leon shoulder and moving it slowly up into his hair.
Leon was experiencing a vibrating sensation on his forehead that he carefully ignored.
Kippy had grabbed the tapes from Leon’s clutches, analyzed them and to Leon’s surprise placed each one into his mouth unconsciously as he re-entered them into the Porno-Philer Computer Database. Leon watched this with great pleasure laughing to himself on the inside. “Those tapes just moments ago were deeply apart of me and now they are in your very large, shit eating mouth you fucking muppet.” Thought Leon. At this point there was a number of customers behind Leon in line that spiraled through a dizzying maze of everything from Bi-curious George Dolls to a suspended 3 meter long, double sided black dildo with an elegantly hand painted name of “God’s Cock” on its side.
Unknown to Leon the unemployed, action seeking guests of this Wednesday afternoon were also growing restless with all their christmas presents in arms while staring intently at a soft glow from the back of Leon’s outfit. Leon had settled on having RoboCock teleported to his pod, knowing that MERLIN also enjoyed countless hours of the series. Upon opening the doors and hearing the ever so familiar sound of moaning, Leon had felt a sticking smack in the middle of his back thinking to himself “For some reason, today I am being unlawfully targeted by those around me, is this life in the ghetto? Is this what Eazy-E means to be a real motherfuckin G? God, I should have brought my damn strap and wet these niggas.” Thought Leon.
“Hey little wizard! Gandolf! Make that fucker disappear!” Roared three sweaty visitors from the murky, blinking interior of the shop. Leon had been hit with what appeared to be a large gold beaded necklace, thinking nothing of it and being first - fashionable and second - in the spirit of Jesus our savior’s birthday, he placed them around his neck and began to walk home.
Leon had returned home to Sector 6 only to eased his eyes over a clean landscape inside his pod. MERLIN had done a fantastic job tidying up. He had also arranged or what resembled a christmas tree, upon closer inspection it was vaguely familiar somehow, he noticed it had been freshly severed. It was in fact the only small tree that was planted Sector 9 Housing Project Park. It was now glowing in the living room decorated with streams of rap tape cassettes such as Heavy D and the Boyz and Bell Biv Devoe. On top appeared to be a makeshift black Barbie doll impersonating an angel, and littered throughout the tree was Spaceport Menthol cigarette packets and below was a foot heater bathing a sea of chicken legs in red christmas light that gracefully turned and danced beneath the recently stolen - newly appropriated pine tree.
Leon had taken the recently transported package from Kippy’s which was gift-wrapped in a collage of naked men dressed as Christmas Elves in sensual poses enjoying one anthers company, and placed it under the once public tree with confused looks from both MERLIN and Myrtle the Turtle. At that moment a startling noise shot down from what Leon thought was the roof and a laser had begun to cut a less than perfect circle in the ceiling above them. 25 minutes later the cutting was just about complete when Commander Cody had fallen directly through the roof dressed in a miniature Santa Costume with a large bundle of Hennessey exclaiming “Ho, Ho, Ho, Hoes!” Falling directly onto Merlin and then getting up gracefully only to slip on a very shiny Swarvoski encrusted object lying on the floor. Snow now began to fall directly into the pod and Leon knitted his brow looking at the situation with a light heart and gently smiled.
He glowed with the season’s warmth of family and friends, standing facing the tree with Myrtle, Merlin and a half drunk dressed miniature Santa. The ghetto quartet began to smoking neptunes, opening small christmas paper bags of Hennessey, serving Chicken wings that had been partially cooked by a foot heater, and tearing into a large package that was wrapped with gay paper. Leon’s outfit had also somehow consciously changed in the spirit of the holidays that Commander Cody noticed which read “Merry X-mas Bitches”
All was quiet in Sector 9 and Leon began to read to his closest friends the following carol:
‘It be the night in the ghetto before Christmas, when all through the project we at,
Not a motherfucka was stirring, not even a rat;
The guns be all hidden in the closets with care,
In hopes that no police would be looking in there;
The gang members were nestled all snug with bitches in their beds,
While visions of shootouts danced with bullets passing by their heads;
As Leon drew in his head, and was turning around,
Down through the roof Commander Cody came with a bound.
He was dressed all in dirty fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with Hennessey and soot;
A bundle of liquor he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a junkie just opening his pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as cocaine and snow;
The stump of a crack pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And drunkenly filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, sniffing as cocaine rose;
He sprang to his lowrider, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all drove like the rocket or a missile.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas bitches, and to all a good-night.”
CHAPTER #5 - GALACTIC GANG PRIDE DAY & THE HOLOGRAPHIC WIZARD ONE PIECE SUIT
The light of the morning moon was quick to summit into the galaxy sky creeping through the blast blinds of Leon’s sector pod. He had fallen asleep in the midst of his new found research. Leon had been unable to take his mind off the documents leaving Myrtle the turtle to deal with the Ghetto’s intercity streets on her own. Myrtle had walked home from the Just in Space Pet Care Emergency Room. It had taken her exactly 14 hours to arrive, she was careful to avoid any transients or vagrants which may have taken her golden chain or Swaroski encrusted shell Leon had built for her.
She was comfortable asleep in Leon’s hair accompanied by leftover chicken skin particles. Then in a second’s notice, Leon had awoken himself is a panic launching Myrtle into the crisp, morning air. A shimmering circular object was now in rocket form headed in the direction of MERLIN the cleaning unit. Leon had experienced a terrible dream, he was sweating profusely while looking down at his fluroescent Cross Colors pants trying to recall where his mind had been. He indeed had been dreaming of being strapped to Lazer Coaster track and shot off around the moon and into its many steep crevases. There were also grocery bags with bats in them that had been frozen in time that potential could wake at any moment. This also made Leon very nervous perhaps disrupting his sleep causing him to wake and fulfill his urge to get to Office Space for data folders to organize the documents and to return some video tapes at Kipper’s Sporno Emporium.
Leon had looked around the pod to gather himself and his thoughts. There had been a very loud noise in the rear cooking area and what appeared to sound like a robotic scream from MERLIN. Leon turned uninterested and picked himself from the floor and activated the grooming feature of his pod by calling softly into the ceiling sensor “Wash me up bitch, and get my hair did.” At that moment nothing had happened.
Suddenly the panel in the ceiling activated a orange soul glow that projected itself on Leon creating a blur like effect around his large round silhouette. The light had then vanished back into the overhead revealing a new spacesuit on Leon. The grooming panel also had a pre-recorded 5 second sound bite of Color Me Bad’s “I want to sex you up” that chimed in just before deactivating.
Leon had failed to update the system and was forced to hear this dated track each time he adjusted his appearance. His Garment Library Data Card was also missing at least 450 updates which left him with unpredictable, dated outfits upon each activation. Looking down at himself he appeared to be dressed in a metallic, blinking one piece space suit with the name tag that read “Noodles” on the breast pocket. What Leon failed to realize was the large animated .gif on the back of the one piece outfit which appeared to be looping. The holograph appeared to be a wizard with his hands in a challenging position with a blinking, illuminated text that read “FUCKING COME AT ME, BRO.”
Regardless of what Leon imagined the day had in store for him, this was an un-calculated multiplier that had not been taken into account. Leon’s hair had still been dripping with Space Juice onto the metallic shoulders of his outfit. He had stepped over the documents kicking them aside looking for his Light Brigade Hover board beneath.
After locating the device Leon had grabbed his keys turned for the door. The freshly dented MERLIN and near unconscious Myrtle looked towards the door only to see the back of Leon leaving and then had turned to one another smirking. Before the forcefield had activated Leon had grabbed his Extrolex Spacial watch and prepaid B-Mobile pager.
Today was a very special day in all sectors in the Galaxy of Amazingness. It was Galactic Gang Pride Day. Which meant everyone that was anyone was outside and … rioting. Luckily and unknown to Leon he was going to have a day that he would not forget.
Holographic Bandanas were cover the faces of many members running in the streets, HoloFlags brandished gang signs and warnings to non-gang related civilians, Hovercrafts sped by emitting neon colored lights from beneath while blasting Space Ghetto Radio and the lyrics of Bobby Digital.
This was of course The Wizards’ Literary Gand and Book Club turf perhaps they flying in their gang hovercraft named “Da Schola Ship.” thought Leon, off to attack the illiterate factions in Sector 6.
Upon rounding the next corner before reaching Xeno’s Liquor Sto Leon had noticed spotted Moonrunners and Crazy Cooter walking directly towards him. At this point there were many thoughts going through Leon’s what some like to call “Medium Smart” brain. One, these fuckers will let me pass by with no problem because it is Galactic Gang Day and be amazed by my hair. Two, these fuckers will ruin my hair and stop the shit out of my because it is Galactic Gang day. Leon was looking straight ahead to Kipper’s Sporno Emporium hoping to make a clean break inside without a situation developing. As Crazy Cooter was within inches of Leon he placed his hand out gesturing Leon to stop abruptly. Leon had done just that as if he had premeditated the action in advance the night before. Crazy Cooter then tilted his head a placed a small kiss on Leon’s cheek saying nothing at all.
“Did you like that, you little bitch?” asked Crazy Cooter as he band of minions blew kisses at one another to mimic his actions laughing. Leon stood motionless, still reviewing what had just happened in his mind and contemplating the leader’s sexual orientation. “Yes.” Leon then spoke up and announced. “I have to return some video tapes that are late so…” Leon offered nervously.
“Well in that case let him pass gentlemen, he has some video tapes to return.” ordered Crazy Cooter to his minions. Leon was shocked and thought how easy this was and he had received a kiss from a original galactic gangster, this was turning out to be what Ice-T refers to as “A good day.” Upon passing the group of hardened hoodlums, a subtle glow of light glistened off each of their faces from the back of Leon’s one piece space suit. The men looked on as the light softly danced across each of their faces as if it were a taunting laugh or slap mocking them where they stood.
Leon woke up face down on the pavement to the sounds of Transporter horns beeping on the roadside where he lay, He had felt a cool breeze tickling and washing over what he had thought was his bare ass that appeared to be communicating signs of alarming pain and agony for some time. As he reached around to feel what might have happened to his bottom he noticed immediately the feeling of hard plastic video rental cases that somehow had been used to violate him from behind.
Leon had pulled the video tapes from his behind and stood up slowly to gather himself and form what had just happened in his mind and how. “Crazy Cooter gave me a kiss and then I woke up on the sidewalk with video tapes in my ass. thought Leon. 15 minutes had passed and no ideas surfaced in Leon’s though process. His suit had healed its tears and rips itself with nano fabrics making it like new as if he had just bought the cursed garment.
He then continued with the walk of John Wayne, as if he had just dismounted a horse, into Kipper’s Sporno Emporium with two soiled video tapes in hand. Upon entering the adult video store a bell had signaled to the employee that a heavy breathing, fun seeker had arrived. Space Ghetto Radio was playing in the background accompanied and interrupted by many sporadic grunts and yelps.
LISTEN TO CHAPTER FIVE ON SPOTIFY
CHAPTER #4 - THE WIZARDS’ LITERARY STREET GANG AND BOOK CLUB
Leon had taken a Space Depot Rental Transporter shuttle back to Sector 11 where his pod was located. He managed to bring 47 boxes of Lafonda Snow’s journaled documents and also included another 14 excerpts and footnotes taken by the now deceased Captain Gentle. What was this mysterious ghetto mystery unfolding? Leon had thought. And also how is this connected to this untraceable antique internet frequency from 2011? All this and more was beginning to unfold in front of one of leon’s sixteen eyes. Upon leaving the vehicle and teleporting the boxes into his pod he had an uneasy feeling that in his sector this little space rental or he might by get jacked. Sure enough in a sector 6 minute, that fucker was gone.
“Shieeeeeet” exclaimed Leon as he returned to see four cylinder block holding up what appeared to be the remains of the Rental Transporter. There was a small standardized checklist holo-note hovering in the would be parking spot from “The Wizard’s Literary Street Gang and Book Club” that read: This note is intended for you in regards to - and a check mark was placed by “Your Transporter” Below Leon read the following message “Greetings, we are delighted to consign to you a small acclimation announcing that we -the entrusted party - have graciously commandeered your transporter into our own possession based on the act of “free will”. If you wish to see the shuttle once more we would kindly ask that you fill out the requested forms attached in which are titled “Fuck off.” Leon studied the document carefully, wrinkled his brow in frustration and realized someone had left a very endearing note and stole his Transporter. “Oh well” thought Leon. “I will fix those bitches, but not just yet.” Leon had little understanding of the Wizards Literary Street Gang and Book Club, he did know that they mainly hung out at the Public Sector Library and were quite well known and poetic in the galaxy graffiti scene. The WLSG&BC had tagged virtually every unreachable solar system and even a throw up on the Moon which stayed 2 light years before the Mayor send out Moonrakers to brush it off.
The leader supposably goes by the name “Laser 3:14”. They also seemed to have a strong hold on the underground black book market and Galactic Reader Digest Gang. Leon would come back to this later, he had other plans for the day which included picking up his turtle called Murtle from “Just in Space - Pet Care” and reviewing all of the newly found documents from Captain Gentle.
Judging by the countless notebooks and chaotic writings of Lafonda Snow he was apparently try to communicate something about the future that was somehow connected to his own self induced madness and inevitably his unexplainable death. As Leon paged through the documents and drawings of Lafonda’s he grazed periodically on a century old lunch disc from Galaxy Fried Chicken. He then began to read a section from Captain Gentle about the Journal of Lafonda Snow. This seemed to be one of the most complete or last segments he had written.
“This is not for you” was clearly written as a title to the document. Leon believed this to be some sort of warning to anyone who may have come in contact with the documents. Unaffected he continued on reading Captain Gentle’s notes. “If you find this, be aware that there is something dark growing here it has caused me to loose my vision and only be able to find comfort in complete darkness while loosing all contact with everything around me and finally the galaxy. This dark presence has also consumed and affected Lafonda Snow and his family as I have concluded and documented throughly in my research over the last 14 light years. It is not too late for you, please stop now before this same darkness takes form again. Leon had then contemplated throwing out everything or kindly donating it to the Public Sector Library for Laser and his club to read through and then going about his day picking up Murtle. 45 minutes had passed. Leon had turned on the unidentifiable radio stream known only as “Space Ghetto” and then resumed reading the found documents.
To be clear about which author is speaking in the chapters we introduce a text system for each author. Leon Redfield will remain in black with the regular story line. Captain Gentle’s footnotes and documentation will appear in bold and Lafonda Snow’s journal entries will be in italics.
LISTEN TO CHAPTER FOUR ON SPOTIFY
CHAPTER #3 - LAFONDA SNOW & THE MOONRUNNERS
Commander Cody and Leon stepped out of the Light Cruiser with Bobby the Wolfhound trailing them to the gate of the community marked “Government Galaxy Housing Project #4. Upon arrival, Cody had presented a ID Chip that deactivated the Lazer gate allowing them to enter.
The GHP4 was indeed a very rough area encompassing many of the planets gang communities. At the top of that list was the most infamous ”Moon Runners” led by Cooter Davenport aka Crazy Cooter.
Crazy Cooter had been seated on the hover bench just beside some light bikes in the center of the projects. He and his entire crew were in matching North Space hooded parkas and staring intently at Cody and Leon as they entered. Inside each of the hoods you could see only dimly lit retinas and the rest was black. Commander Cody then gave a casual wave and mumbled “assholes…” in their direction. “We will deal with those pancakes when we have a bit more time.” mentioned Commander Cody. He did intend on starting a small war at some point, but at this moment he had other things on his mind besides his rivalry with Crazy Cooter.
At the arrival of the front door of Cody’s pod a terrible odor had presented itself as what some would call “Death.” Something had definitely died inside his new old apartment. The pod was quite dark due to the windows being covered with old Galaxy Gazettes. The floor also was covered in what seemed to be papers and other foreign documents all written by hand. “Captain Kirk Gentle died in this room, he was working on something that must have driven him mad and I am assuming all this we are standing on – is that madness.” suggested Cody.
Leon had picked up one of the many papers on the ground and studied it carefully. He was from the ghetto but he could be quite scholarly when need be. He began to see that there had been countless notes made by Captain Gentle on an existing journal written by someone called Lafonda Snow. This journal from Lafonda seemed to be a documentation on his family in early 2015. The papers and data was overwhelming and Leon decided to make a project of it and see what he could make of all the information, so he began to gather what he could in garbage bags and boxes to bring back to his pod. Commander Cody had also begun helping organize the paperwork and switched on the hidden transmission frequency to Space Ghetto and they both looked to one another, listened and smiled.
seemed to be a recorded loop that was set in the past light years ago.
LISTEN TO CHAPTER THREE ON SPOTIFY
CHAPTER #2 -THE STARGAZER LOUNGE
Upon entering the parking lot Leon had noticed a Luna class light cruiser with a painted hull that read “Uninvited Guest” This was a clear sign that Commander Cody had already arrived and was sitting inside the Stargazer Lounge. The Stargazer was situated at the end of the universe and was not easily accessible to teleport, but does have fantastic milkshakes so it was worth the bus ride. It was a well visited location by all the space freighter pilots who were looking to eat H.M.S. (Horse Meat Surprise) and renting Com Passion Bots in increments of twenty minutes was possible in a private drive thru window situation behind the lounge. The smell of stale smoke and burnt horse meat filled the air provoking a short gagging reflex in Leon’s mouth, Leon then spotted the Commander at a rotating table in the rear of the restaurant signaling him to come forth.
Commander Cody was small and ferocious fox-like creature that stood just over 1 meter tall. He traveled everywhere with a large dog called Bobby who was an irish wolf hound and equipped with a saddle if Cody felt inclined to go for a spin. Cody also wore small beret confirming his military service to his galaxy and a an aged brown leather trench coat concealing a number of black market items underneath.
“Hey meatfucker!” exclaimed the Commander joyfully as Leon approached. Leon was just in shouting distance and lucky enough to have 14 others in the restaurant turn and have a gander at exactly what a “Meatfucker” looked like. Leon then sat down looking rather embarrassed and smiled. “Don’t be such a pussy, are you going to cry Leon” joked the Commander. “Im not going to cry, I am fine with you being a shitty little person.” replied Leon.
“Do you want to have a loli?” questioned Cody. ”Yes, of course I do.” answered Leon ”Do you want strawberry or fuck you?” Cody replied with a smirk. “Should we get into why I am meeting you at this shit hole, I didn’t come here to eat horse me or get a lap dance from a robot, so…”
Cody then interrupted and began explaining that his new government galaxy housing pod had a small issue. Actually a big issue. When I began to moved in I had learned from the neighbor, Jamal Fad’em All, that someone had indeed passed away there making the property available, a blind man by the name of Captain Kirk Gentle. Captain Gentle was isolated in the pod and had placed newspapers on all the viewing portals. It turns out that he had gone blind recently and was in some type of delusional state. Something strange was going on with the elderly man as his house was full of papers and documents that seemed to be causing him to loose track of reality. The commander explained.
“Do you really have a strawberry Loli?” asked Leon. Cody then opened his jacket and removed a large military issue phaser with the inscription down the barrel that read “Synchronize Your Dogmas” which was now pointing only centimeters from Leon’s nose. “We will go to my new Government pod in the Galaxy of Amaziness and clean the after effects of Captain Kirk Gentle together and see what we can make of that before I move my fish tanks in there, and no, I do not have a strawberry loli, now let’s get going.”
Upon starting up the light cruiser, Bobby the Wolf Hound began to adjust the radio frequency stopping on the mysterious radio broadcast know as Space-Ghetto. A signal that was available only to few that knew its frequency – it seemed to be a recorded loop that was set in the past light years ago.
LISTEN TO CHAPTER TWO ON SPOTIFY
Chapter #1 - INTRODUCTION - THEY CAME FROM THE STARS I SAW THEM…
A green light flashed sparked inside pod B sector 11 where Leon Redfield awoke himself with an early morning yell of horror and suddenly remembered where he was. Leon had begin to open his eyes and adjusted the light unit next to his hover mattress.
In that instant one of Leon’s missing particle sneakers skipped out of public teleporter into the MERLIN cleaning unit awakening Leon further, he then remember it must have fell from his foot fitting upon getting into the teleporter after The Lo Lo SuperSonic Ho No Mo Sho. The MERLIN Unit then began its (AIVAS) artificial intelligence voice address system requesting Leon to add a printing toner. MERLIN then began his day cleaning program seven hours to soon.
It is never a good idea to take three people in the Public Alpha 60 Teleporter in the first place. Especially the ones from Sector 9 in Lower Stasis to Sector 11 because the transport authority - Zaphod Light Rail Service haven’t modified those pods in 5 million years. They also smell and people modify the 889B button to make pig sounds.
Leon begins to open his eyes focusing as a glowing blue light activates and hovers around his wrist displaying the time on the Extrolex. It was a second hand model sourced from the Eroticon District, Com passion market to be specific if your looking. The Extrolex hovered silently displaying the time in which Leon was lost inside.
Leon was currently lost in time in space. He was meant to meet Commando Cody and help him move into his new living unit in The Seventh Galaxy of Amazingness. Leon then activated his GWB-666 Gold Ego, Master Low Energy Variable Input Nanocomputer and his fluro pants with the displaced particle sneakers that had arrived just earlier that morning.
Upon leaving Leon hears the MERLIN Unit had a working transmission of Space Ghetto streaming in the living pod as he cleans, a neurocasted signal from the Milliways Galaxy. An unprecedented journey hosted by Curtis Forcefield and Sammy Phaser Jr.
loading…